SPRING will bypass the UK this year after deciding that to arrive so late would be unbearably awkward.
Via The Daily Mash:
The yearly weather pattern claimed the weight of expectation is just too much to bear.
Spring said: “I’ve given this a lot of thought, and it’s going to be better for everyone if we pick this up next year.
“To kick things off in April would just feel weird. Usually I like to be around for the equinox but for various reasons that didn’t happen.
“Personally I just feel that I need that time from March to June to do my thing, I like to tell a story with my work, to take everyone on a journey from lambs and blossom through into summer.
“Sorry if I’ve let anyone down but Winter says its fine to take the April-June slot.
“I’ll be back next year with something special for all those people who really like me.”
Winter said: “I’m getting all the hate here but it’s Spring that’s being a dick.
“That said, this is a great opportunity to convince everyone that subzero temperatures are the way forward.
“Also I’m going to be mixing it up a little, introducing some sunny days that look nice but when you go out in them are actually fucking freezing.”